This is my response to an article written by a student at Indiana University. You can read the article for yourself at:
http://www.idsnews.com/news/story.aspx?id=90666
Dear Sir,
In regards to your article "Bisexual bias" in the IDS, I would like to say a few things.
"I’ve had a saying for a few years now. Bisexuals are like unicorns. You really want them to exist. But they just don’t."
1. Comparing a bisexual person to unicorns is mostly, if not entirely, ridiculous.
There
are many cases in which unicorns can have existed, thus leading one to
believe that you are saying bisexual homo sapiens do, in fact, exist.
Examples:
If we were to go completely old school Biblical on the matter, if you
are one who believes in the Bible, you would find there are several
verses involving the unicorn. This might lead one to believe that you
were saying that bisexuals at one time existed, but don't any longer.
For your in-depth research (which I am sure you did for your article)
verses involving unicorns can be found in the KJV Bible, said verses
being: Numbers 23:22, Job 39:9, Psalms 29:6, Job 39:10, Numbers 24:8 and
Psalms 92:10.
Or, if you don't believe in the Bible, we can look
at the Narwhal, oft considered the Unicorn of the Sea or any other
animal with one horn.
*The word "unicorn" stems from early 13th
century Old French "unicorne" and from Late Latin "unicornus" meaning,
quite literally, "having one horn." Uni- meaning "one" plus cornus
meaning "horn." If we go with this, that means that anything having one
horn is considered a unicorn, making them quite real in the etymological
sense of the word.
I'm sure, however, that you meant them in the
purely fairy tale sense of the word, being a horse with a lion's tail, a
single horn protruding from its head and a billy goat's beard (or, if
you prefer, Pliny's version: a creature with a horse's body, deer's
head, elephant's feet, lion's tail, and one black horn two cubits long
projecting from its forehead). Or maybe you meant it in the allegorical
sense, which was used as a tool by the Christians to teach morals. Such
morals being that a Unicorn can only be tamed by a virgin (virgin in
almost any sense of that word), the Unicorn being Christ in certain
tales. And dire consequences for those who pretended to be virgin as
they were skewered on the horn of the beast. That doesn't seem to fit
quite as neatly as your original simile, but if we're talking of
backwards philosophies it seems to fit quite nicely.
"It’s very difficult in our society to believe in something as free-spirited as bisexuality."
2.
It also seems very difficult, in our society, to believe in Love and
Marriage being uninhibited by things such as age, sexual preferences,
gender, race, religion, etc. Love is apparently tethered to concrete
ideas and laws. "Free-spirited" makes it sound as though it is a
childish thing. Sexuality isn't an idea that we follow, like the Flower
Power movement. Sexuality is not Hippies in the summer of '69. It is a
deep and personal thing, grounded in one's sense of self. It is
something we all find inside of ourselves. It is longing to be with
another person in the most intimate way, sharing bodies and things that
no one wants to talk about because they are "shameful." And that
longing is not restrained by your narrow view of the world.
"it’s
threatening. For heterosexuals and homosexuals, we have to contend with
only being attracted to half of the population. Those odds aren’t
terrific. For someone who’s bisexual, the world is their genital oyster.
It’s actually a very picturesque image. Men, women, who cares? I’m
attracted to everyone."
3. I don't understand this part at all. You
say it is threatening, bisexuality that is, but don't explain how it is
threatening. How does bisexuality threaten your sexuality in any way?
Truly, I'm curious. Explain to me, without Biblical or personal biases,
how Bisexuality is threatening in any way, shape or form. You then say
that the world is a "genital oyster." That is, not only, a vile
pictorial image, but also shows just how little you understand about
sexuality in general.
Yes, sexuality does, often involve,
genitalia. However, there is so much more to sexuality than just sex.
Sexuality is a strong basic instinct, a need, a desire, an attraction.
It involves emotions and physical sensations. It can be impacted by the
atmosphere one grows up in. It will never leave you. It is a key part of
one's identity.
You make it sound almost as if sex meant nothing
except, simply, getting one's rocks off. As if a bisexual is a selfish
or greedy being for being attracted to more than one sex. Bisexuality is
an attraction to either gender, that is true. But often the attraction
is deeper than sexual. One can be attracted to anyone; beyond their
gender, religion, sexual preferences, age, race, cultural background,
etc. And what one finds sexually attractive doesn't even have to be
human. There are those who are sexually attracted a person's mind or
even inanimate objects. Wherever humans are involved there is no strict
definition for sexuality. No strict definition for anything. We are more
than the limits placed on us by other, simpler, creatures.
You
say that "Those odds aren't terrific" when speaking of being "only"
attracted to half of the population. Being attracted to only a man or
only a woman isn't terrible. The odds are fine. In fact, when did odds
even enter the picture? You make it sound like a race. As if we are all
in a race with one another to see who is more attracted to who. It isn't
a race. It isn't a game. There are no "odds." There are only people.
People who love and hate, create and destroy, write good articles and
shitty ones.
"Now, I am not bisexual."
4. Clearly.
"I also can’t assert assurance on things like Bigfoot, John F. Kennedy’s assassination or the contention of Jesus’ divinity."
5.
I cannot say, with certainty that Bigfoot does or does not exist. JFK
was, in fact, assassinated, though by whom is still up for debate. And
whilst Jesus did exist, I cannot say with certainty that he was divine.
However, I also can't say with certainty when we will die. I can't say
that Coca Cola is the superior of all carbonated beverages. Nothing in
this life is particularly certain. Truth is defined by who is looking at
it, not by what it actually is.
"The real issue has to do with the male psyche and sexuality."
6.
Yes, yes it does. At last, something we agree on! It DOES have to do
with the Male psyche and sexuality. Men are generally insecure about
their sexuality, no matter their preferences. Everything about sex makes
one insecure. The length and width of his organ, whether he is doing
well, how quickly he can reach orgasm, etc. Men are generally quite
insecure with anything having to do with their own emotions and their
being as well. I have yet to meet a man who is completely secure with
being emotionally honest. Does that mean that he doesn't exist
somewhere? Does that mean I am going to have to start writing wildly
inaccurate articles on male emotions?
"The same notion just
doesn’t extend to heterosexual women. You’d be hard pressed to find a
straight woman finding the same sexual stimulation from watching two men
go at it."
7. You, sir, clearly have never met a woman willing to
talk about being aroused by two men "going at it" as you so delicately
put it. I myself enjoy watching two men fornicate, kiss, etc. I find it
arousing when a man kisses another man. The funny thing is that you
would be "hard pressed" to find a straight woman who is NOT aroused by
two men having sexual intercourse. There are numerous articles you can
find about straight female arousal whilst watching male on male
pornography, but I'm assuming you didn't actually try to find any. Your
whole article suggests a lack of study on the topic at hand.
To
quote a poster on one of the response brought up by my searches: "What I
find hilarious, is that so many straight men assume that women don't
find it erotic, just because THEY [men] don't."
"But after years
of men grind stoning women’s sexuality to the fine powder it is today,
why should anyone be the wiser? Two women going at it? Crack a beer and
enjoy. Two men going at it? Ultimate party foul. It’s typically pretty
hard to party once the gay bomb drops."
8. I don't understand that
first sentence at all. "But after years of men grind stoning women's
sexuality to the fine powder it is today," what does that even mean? Did
you even edit this before posting it to such a public forum? And what
do you mean by "grind stoning women's sexuality"?
Two women are
having sex with one another and this is suddenly a party? Do men do
that? They all get together and watch lesbian porn whilst drinking beer?
Someone puts in a gay porno and then all bets are off? "Gay bomb?"
Truly, your word choice is ridiculously childish.
"I can’t begin to believe in bisexuality in a society where men’s sexuality isn’t nearly as fluid as women’s."
9.
The problem with men's sexuality being fluid has nothing to do with
whether or not bisexuality exists, but lies (once again) with the male
psyche. Men seem to have this preconceived notion that it is
unacceptable for them to be bisexual. Out of all the homosexual and
heterosexual men I have met it comes down to this idea that they have to
choose. That there is no "this" and "that." It is all "this" OR "that."
It astounds me, actually, the number of men who find some other men
attractive, but won't do anything with that attraction because they also
find women attractive. That is definitely a problem with today's
society, you are correct on that part. Society says it is totally wrong
to think or exist outside of the sexuality box it has created for us.
"Recently in Hollywood, loads of successful women have come out as bisexual."
10.
Hollywood is DEFINITELY a good place to look for reality and facts.
Plenty of people will say whatever it takes to become famous or to have
the spotlight shine a bit brighter on them. That doesn't make it fact.
"But
the future may be bright. Frank Ocean is one example of a successful
man who’s admitted to having a relationship with a man."
11. I find
it sad that the final breath of your article is a sarcastic, and pithy,
"Men in the limelight aren't bisexual so no one can be bisexual."
I
am a bisexual woman. I am proud of my sexuality and who I am as a
person. I have a loving husband and a wonderful girlfriend. I can't
imagine going through my life without either of them. There is more to
my being attracted to them than their gender. More to my love for them
than their genitalia. Its people like yourself, that raise the banners
of prejudice and bias against what you don't understand and don't bother
to understand.
sincerely,
Sarai.
