A Liar, by any other name.

Dear ___,
Its fitting that you changed your name to Jacob.

Especially since it means "liar." You've spent your whole life telling lies, being hypocritical, two faced, etc. Its fitting that Jacob lied and stole from his own family. You lied about your love. You stole my youth, stole my everything.

You had Leah, a perfectly good wife, and you still kept lusting after a Rachel. Oh you were faithful, faithful in that you didn't have sex with another woman. But you were never faithful in your heart.

You believed you would be the father of nations, a king to rule. And then my mother turned out to be a Rachel in a baby sense. Unable to carry five children to term. And you stood in that pulpit, crying, mourning as if you were the only one affected by the loss. You act as if you are the only one who has ever been abused or hurt.

You talk about how your mother and father harmed your psyche (a word I'm sure you don't know how to spell or even pronounce), your "manhood," your sexuality.

What about my womanhood? My sexuality? Or _____'s manhood and sexuality? What about ______? Did it ever occur to you that you have damaged us in more ways than your parents ever damaged you?

You make excuses, hide behind your terrible childhood, adolescence.
"I was abused." You abused us.
"I was damaged." You damaged us.

Why don't you be a fucking man and own up to your mistakes? Why don't you stop whining and boo hooing?

"Oh, poor Jacob." Oh, poor you! Stop hiding behind your pathetic excuses and be a real man.

If I were a man, I would fight you. I would say all of these things to your face, because you are a coward. You will bow out. A man so deep in the closet because he hates what he doesn't understand. I wish I could make you see.

I wish I could shove your nose in all the shit you forced on us. All the pain, the heartache, the heartbreak. I wish I could force you to look at yourself and see.

Wishes are useless, however.

In the end I am left marveling at the irony of your choice in name. "Jacob hath I loved," said God. So you imagine yourself beloved by heaven. Jacob is a liar and a thief. How fitting that a "jealous" and "angry" God would love a liar like you.