Dear B___ (and W____),
Despite what you may or may not believe, just because I wear the hijab does not mean that I am weak or able to be bullied. I also, don't tolerate people bullying my friends. You can't possibly believe that you can get away with this. Just because no one wanted to stand up to you before doesn't mean I'll stand down. You have me in the Catch-22, right now, but you won't for long. You'll never change. Which means there will always be something I can use against you. And when the time is right I will do that.
I find it funny that you can't say these terrible things to my face, but you can spew your venom at a completely innocent party. We've been working together for over a year and yet you've never been able to say anything to my face. I know you've been talking behind my back. R___ told me. You know why she told me? Because she truly cares about me, unlike you.
All this time you were attempting to ingratiate yourself into my good opinions. None of it was true. I should've recognized the symptoms of your disease, it's one I've encountered before. Many times, in fact.
And W____, you have broken my heart. I thought, I hoped, that you were just a sheep being lead by B___. I hoped that it was just her strong "personality" that made you behave the way you did. But this, this just tears me up. Because I truly loved you. B___ I could take or leave, but I adored you. I looked at you as another grandmotherly figure. No, we didn't always agree on politics and there was that one awful argument where you told me "God forgive me for what I'm thinking about you right now." But I thought that it was, once again, B___'s bad influence and that you weren't really like that. I see now that I was horrifically mistaken and that you are a far worse monster than I took you for. It both horrifies and nauseates me. I wish I had never cared about you because this is one of the worst feelings I've ever had.
And you both call yourselves Christians. You are part of the reason I don't believe in God anymore, part of the reason I've gone off in search of something to believe in. I would love to say that you are the reason I turned to Allah, but that isn't true. I turned to Allah because I wanted to believe in something and because I have been on this path since high school. Since that first day I brought the KKK out of hiding, I've been playing with this fire and I am going to be burned. I know I will, but at least I will have tried something, whereas you have brought shame upon yourselves and your God.
You may believe that I will back down, but I won't. This is a "Henry Higgins" moment, just you wait. I may come across as a lamb, but I am the tigress and you will have the claws. It's only a matter of when, not if.
In the meantime, I hope that you are happy with yourselves. I know you aren't. I know you are both miserable. Maybe if you weren't so hateful, you would be happy. Maybe if you didn't lie and hate and drag God through the mud, you would be happy and healthy.
As it is, S____ is a better person than you will EVER be and I hope he gets to watch your downfall.
Sincerely,
Sarai
Despite what you may or may not believe, just because I wear the hijab does not mean that I am weak or able to be bullied. I also, don't tolerate people bullying my friends. You can't possibly believe that you can get away with this. Just because no one wanted to stand up to you before doesn't mean I'll stand down. You have me in the Catch-22, right now, but you won't for long. You'll never change. Which means there will always be something I can use against you. And when the time is right I will do that.
I find it funny that you can't say these terrible things to my face, but you can spew your venom at a completely innocent party. We've been working together for over a year and yet you've never been able to say anything to my face. I know you've been talking behind my back. R___ told me. You know why she told me? Because she truly cares about me, unlike you.
All this time you were attempting to ingratiate yourself into my good opinions. None of it was true. I should've recognized the symptoms of your disease, it's one I've encountered before. Many times, in fact.
And W____, you have broken my heart. I thought, I hoped, that you were just a sheep being lead by B___. I hoped that it was just her strong "personality" that made you behave the way you did. But this, this just tears me up. Because I truly loved you. B___ I could take or leave, but I adored you. I looked at you as another grandmotherly figure. No, we didn't always agree on politics and there was that one awful argument where you told me "God forgive me for what I'm thinking about you right now." But I thought that it was, once again, B___'s bad influence and that you weren't really like that. I see now that I was horrifically mistaken and that you are a far worse monster than I took you for. It both horrifies and nauseates me. I wish I had never cared about you because this is one of the worst feelings I've ever had.
And you both call yourselves Christians. You are part of the reason I don't believe in God anymore, part of the reason I've gone off in search of something to believe in. I would love to say that you are the reason I turned to Allah, but that isn't true. I turned to Allah because I wanted to believe in something and because I have been on this path since high school. Since that first day I brought the KKK out of hiding, I've been playing with this fire and I am going to be burned. I know I will, but at least I will have tried something, whereas you have brought shame upon yourselves and your God.
You may believe that I will back down, but I won't. This is a "Henry Higgins" moment, just you wait. I may come across as a lamb, but I am the tigress and you will have the claws. It's only a matter of when, not if.
In the meantime, I hope that you are happy with yourselves. I know you aren't. I know you are both miserable. Maybe if you weren't so hateful, you would be happy. Maybe if you didn't lie and hate and drag God through the mud, you would be happy and healthy.
As it is, S____ is a better person than you will EVER be and I hope he gets to watch your downfall.
Sincerely,
Sarai
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