Dear Adam,
I forget sometimes, that I have a crush on you. Which seems quite silly, but it happens. I don't talk to you as much as I used to so when we actually get to talk I am always shocked by the strength of the feelings I have always had for you.
I'm so silly. I have written you all sorts of poems and letters before now, confessing said "love." And I do love you. Very much so. I promise not to hold it against you.
It seems crazy that it has been eight years since we met. Can you believe it? You say I'm a cool cat and I make you laugh. And I giggle like a little girl because I love it when you say stuff like that. I love everything about you really. Your sense of humor, your face, YOU.
Do you remember when you first told me that you loved me? We were on the four-wheeler together on Jo's property. Just the two of us and I know she was jealous because she had a crush on you too. And I tried to be independent and refrain from touching you, but then you made the four-wheeler jump so that I had to grab you or fall off. And then I was too, what's the correct word? Too happy to be touching you. You felt wonderful in my arms. I don't mean of that in a sexual manner either. I was just happy to be that close to you.
And I don't quite remember what I said, but you told me you loved me. And I couldn't say it back because I didn't know how, but I've said it a million times since then. Not that it matters, because I don't think you've said it once since that day 8 years ago.
However, it is days like today that remind me all over again why I adore you. I wish we had more days like today. I almost wish I wasn't married so I could tell you all of this for real, see if you would be interested. I know you wouldn't be. Though, as you have said to me "you've not said it, so it is quite unlikely that you 'know' it." Why must you always be right?
Ah, stop it. You are making me feel all squishy on the inside. I wish I had had the courage then, mon ami, to tell you how I felt. Would things be different? Probably not. You would still be half a world away from me, telling me to visit, and I would still be longing for you.
Is it appropriate to tell myself "bonne courage" at this moment? Because I think I need all the courage I can muster to not spoil this lovely friendship with sentiments that can no longer be expressed and followed.
love,
Sarai
I forget sometimes, that I have a crush on you. Which seems quite silly, but it happens. I don't talk to you as much as I used to so when we actually get to talk I am always shocked by the strength of the feelings I have always had for you.
I'm so silly. I have written you all sorts of poems and letters before now, confessing said "love." And I do love you. Very much so. I promise not to hold it against you.
It seems crazy that it has been eight years since we met. Can you believe it? You say I'm a cool cat and I make you laugh. And I giggle like a little girl because I love it when you say stuff like that. I love everything about you really. Your sense of humor, your face, YOU.
Do you remember when you first told me that you loved me? We were on the four-wheeler together on Jo's property. Just the two of us and I know she was jealous because she had a crush on you too. And I tried to be independent and refrain from touching you, but then you made the four-wheeler jump so that I had to grab you or fall off. And then I was too, what's the correct word? Too happy to be touching you. You felt wonderful in my arms. I don't mean of that in a sexual manner either. I was just happy to be that close to you.
And I don't quite remember what I said, but you told me you loved me. And I couldn't say it back because I didn't know how, but I've said it a million times since then. Not that it matters, because I don't think you've said it once since that day 8 years ago.
However, it is days like today that remind me all over again why I adore you. I wish we had more days like today. I almost wish I wasn't married so I could tell you all of this for real, see if you would be interested. I know you wouldn't be. Though, as you have said to me "you've not said it, so it is quite unlikely that you 'know' it." Why must you always be right?
Ah, stop it. You are making me feel all squishy on the inside. I wish I had had the courage then, mon ami, to tell you how I felt. Would things be different? Probably not. You would still be half a world away from me, telling me to visit, and I would still be longing for you.
Is it appropriate to tell myself "bonne courage" at this moment? Because I think I need all the courage I can muster to not spoil this lovely friendship with sentiments that can no longer be expressed and followed.
love,
Sarai
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