Dear W__,

Dear W__,
I watched an old video today with you in it. You were so different in that video. You were so nice and wonderful. Everything I could've hoped you would be. It was painful. One of the hardest things to watch I've ever seen. And I've seen a lot of terrible things.

Having watched this old home movie, I would rather tell myself that you never cared about me and Chris than remember that you did and don't now. That was what hurt.

I couldn't believe you had ever been wonderful, but all the memories I've suppressed to protect my heart came rushing back. The good times we had over that fifteen years. A year or two worth of beautiful memories flooded my brain. I had to walk H_____ to the door to remind myself that you are, in fact, an asshole. That you aren't the person I remember. My memory must be faulty.

These are the things I say to myself to protect me from the pain that you have caused.

"You never really cared" is so much easier to handle than "You cared once and now you don't."

sincerely,
Sarai

Dear Appa,

My dearest Appa,
Thank you. Thank you for making me cry this morning. Thank you for saying what I've been needing to hear for years. It was something I will always cherish.

Thank you for saying I was beautiful. Thank you for calling me your daughter, even though there is no blood between us. Thank you for loving me, even though you don't have to. Thank you for taking care of me and my siblings. Thank you for making me feel a little like I have a family again. I hadn't realized just how much I missed that until now.

Thank you for supporting me, even when I know you don't like what I'm doing. Thank you for not trying to stop me, but being there for me when I'm going through it.

Thank you for taking care of my Mom. Thank you for loving her and treating her the way she deserves to be treated, with love and respect.

Thank you for everything you have done. I'm sorry that I am not the best daughter that I could be, but I'm trying. Forgive me for being cautious around you, for not quite bringing myself to call you "Dad" yet. You are more of a father than I've had in a long time and I appreciate that more than I could ever tell you.

I love you so much, Appa. I may not say it often. I may not express it well, but it is there. I may not call you "Dad" quite the way you would want me to, but I'm scared. I'm afraid that you may stop loving me, may suddenly realize that I'm not worth it, that I'm not perfect and that I screw things up. I'm afraid that you will suddenly see me the way everyone else does, as nothing special. Just another body in a sea of bodies. That terrifies me, Appa.

When you said "talking to the most beautiful 24 year-old daughter I have" I melted into a puddle of tears. Happy tears, because I realized I've been waiting for those words. I waited for D_____ to say it. I waited for W__ to say it. You said it and it was like a little piece of something fell back into place, something I hadn't realized I was missing.

I appreciate that so much more than I could ever explain.

I love you, Appa. Thank you.

With love,
Sarai

Dear Gunner,

Dear Gunner,
First of all, I really don't understand the need for a normal human being, like myself, to own semi-automatic weapons. When am I going to need that for hunting? When am I going to need to kill several hundred people at one time?

Secondly, I don't think that registering your weapons is a bad thing. Why wouldn't you want to know who has guns? I mean, if the crazy person next door has guns, wouldn't you like to know about it?
Thirdly, the fingerprinting, I agree with. I had to be fingerprinted for my job, what is wrong with someone getting fingerprinted for purchasing a weapon? However, I think fingerprinting should be enough in that situation, so I do disagree with the photography. People's appearances change, fingerprints don't. Unless you do something on purpose to change them.

Lastly, why would you say that? You've been posting verses, I've seen them. Why would you be quoting scripture and then turning around and calling someone a "b***h" and a "c**t"? Doesn't the Bible say "Judge not lest ye be judged"? And "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you"? And "Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him."?

You may disagree with what she says, but are you really being a good example by behaving in this manner? No. You are actually making an irrational and awful statement about attacking someone so that they will do things your way. Last I checked, that wasn't the American way (America is the land of the Free. Freedom to express personal views. Last I checked, that was the 1st amendment. Granted, that doesn't mean there aren't repercussions to saying what you want to, but she has the same basic rights everyone else does.) or the Godly way ("Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen").

Not trying to start a fight, just trying to show a different point of view.

I'm sorry to have upset you, Gunner. Apparently you have changed more than I originally thought. I am sorry that you seem to be under the impression that because you have had bad things happen to you in your life that you should be allowed to force your opinions on others.

I'm also sorry that you seem to find Liberals "repulsive" as I am a liberal. I believe in equal rights for everyone, I believe in gun control because it is right, not because it will actually stop anyone. Will there always be criminals? Absolutely. Will there always be evil? Absolutely. However, I don't understand your reasoning behind this. No rights are actually being infringed upon. Nowhere in the second amendment does it say that you have the right to semi-automatic or fully automatic weapons.
The second amendment is still very important to me, no matter what. I believe that we have the right to bear arms. I believe that guns are important to the safety of anyone. My great-aunt has a rifle she keeps in her closet in case someone tries to break in. She has been fingerprinted for it and registered it with the State Police. Has she ever had to use it? No. But I'm grateful she has the right to have it.
I'm not living in a dream world. I know the government lies to me. I know everyone around me has two faces. There is the side the public sees and the side that the private world sees. I'm saddened by this, but it is a fact of life.

I'm also saddened by the fact that not that long ago you commented on something I had posted (as said by Eisenhower). He also said "A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both." And that is all I'm going to say on the matter.

sincerely,
Sarai

Dear ____,

Dear ____,
Whilst I appreciate your sentiments, your viewpoints have been so horrifically altered by a biased media.

Have you ever read the Qur'an (I believe I have asked you this before)? Did you know that the majority of Muslim women actually wear the hijab and niqab because they want to? The covering and modesty have been forced on many, yes, but to say that the stance of all Muslims everywhere is to force women to dress so is ridiculous at best. And isn't the Bible the same way? 1 Corinthians 11:6 "If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head."

Did you know that women are to be honored and not abused ("do not harm them in order to oppress them." Qur'an 65:6)? In fact, the Qur'an speaks very highly of one woman in particular, you may know her as Mary the mother of Jesus (who is also highly regarded in Islam as being yet another prophet of Allah). "while God had been fully aware of what she would give birth to, and [fully aware] that no male child [she might have hoped for] could ever have been like this female." That verse speaks of when Mary was born. Her mother had intended to devote the child's life to God if she had been a man, instead Mary was born and in Allah's eyes no MALE child could ever have been like this FEMALE. That's funny, a woman being praised in the Qur'an that you say so harshly oppresses women?

Like every religion, there are those who skew and warp it to their own means. Christians bomb abortion clinics directly going against "Thou shalt not kill." And I have known far too many "Christian" men who abuse and harm not only their wives, but their children.

There is no glory for Allah in the murder and/or rape of women. There is no such verse extolling this practice either.

A few other verses from the Qur'an:
"O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion." (in the Bible a man may buy a woman he has just raped from her father.)

"Only an honorable man treats women with honor and integrity. And only a mean, deceitful and dishonest man humiliates and insults women."

"There is no compulsion in religion. Verily, the Right Path has become distinct from the wrong path."

"Never hit your wives, they are your partners and sincere helpers."

"And why should you not fight in the cause of God and on behalf of those, who being weak, are ill-treated and oppressed, men, women and children whose cry is, 'Our Lord! Rescue us from these oppressors, and raise for us, from You, one who will protect and help.'"

"So do not fear the people but fear Me," (that sounds awfully familiar doesn't it?)

As to Leviticus, I reject the belief that it has no application to New Testament Christianity. It is ridiculous to even say that. The New Testament would not be without the Old Testament. You cannot properly learn from the New before reading the Old. I say this after reading the entirety of the Bible multiple times over.

Also, I get so tired of people saying this nation was built on Biblical beliefs and principals. Thomas Jefferson, one of the founding fathers, was a devout ATHEIST who wrote his own version of the Bible in an attempt to disprove it. George Washington was never proven to be a Christian. You are a teacher, you should already know that.

I will not argue the point of whether I am valuable and/or precious. And I do not understand your desire to apologize for failings that are not yours.

I don't want to argue with you about whose religion is right and whose religion is wrong. I don't want to argue about verses written by dead men centuries ago who may or may not have been inspired by God. I choose to believe in what I will believe in. It is from my own searching, not from hurt feelings or from childish whims. I am who I am because I have been created this why by something. I'm not sure if that is Allah or God or Zeus for that matter. But I am determined to explore and study and learn, rather than believe everything that has been force fed to me for over a decade.

I do love and adore you, no matter what. But you can't apologize for someone else's failings and you can't stop me from believing what I will. You can pray for me to find my way, if you believe I have lost it. And I will pray for you as well.

Dear ____,
I'm sorry that I actually do my research and have seen Jefferson's "bible" with my own eyes. I'm sorry that I an wasting a few minutes of my lunch trying to explain something to you that you will never understand because you don't want to. I'm sorry that you will believe in my so-called naïveté about the bible and history (which happens to have always been my best subject, by the way). This all makes me very sad. However, what makes me saddest is realizing that all this time I thought you were far better than ___ and I see you are just the same. Believing you are in the right with no proof and being just as much of an ignorant and arrogant "man of God."
I wish you well.