30 in a 50

Dear gentleman in front of me who went 30mph in a 55mph zone,
Thank you.

Honestly, thank you. You gave me a moment to let all the emotional craziness settle, a moment to just enjoy the nature around me. I wasn't even angry that you were going so slowly. I feel like I haven't really breathed in days and you gave me an opportunity to do just that; breathe.

Truly, I appreciate it more than you'll ever know.

sincerely,
Sarai

With love to Russia

My darling Russia,
next to the United States you have been my biggest supporter on my blog(s). And, truly, it isn't your fault that Vladimir Putin is such a jerk-face that he has now relegated Homosexual/Bisexual/Transgendered people into a myth that Christians tell to frighten their children into submission.

Be brave, sweetheart. The world is changing. We are the ocean and we are shifting. Take heart in that there are those of us who believe in LOVE, no matter WHO you love or WHY. Be brave because one day there will be people, like Mr. Putin, who are no longer taken seriously and are merely ignored. I don't know when that day will come, but it WILL.

In the meantime, I still love you, dear Russia. And I still can't wait to visit you someday.

with much love,
Sarai

Dear Pat Robertson,

Dear Pat Robertson,
Its not very often that you have the power to so completely shut down my mental capacities that it takes me this long to recover. But boy, have you really outdone yourself this time!

On your worst days you are ranting about how there needs to be a "vomit" button on Facebook so you can click it any time you see homosexuals kissing or how Haiti has supposedly made a pact with the Devil. And let's not forget your comment on Feminism: "a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians."

I could spend a decade writing about just how WRONG you are on SO many topics, but today is not that decade.

However, this time I'm going to talk about something you said that actually made me... move toward tolerating you. However, I'm very confused. VERY confused.

"I think there are men who are in a woman's body," he said. "It's very rare. But it's true -- or women that are in men's bodies -- and that they want a sex change. That is a very permanent thing, believe me, when you have certain body parts amputated and when you have shot up with various kinds of hormones. It's a radical procedure. I don't think there's any sin associated with that. I don't condemn somebody for doing that." (huffington post)

Wait... Did you just say it was okay to be transgendered?!

 Hell just seriously froze over. Satan's ass is getting freezer burn right now.

The thing I don't understand is this: You are so grossly homophobic and like to back it up with outdated verses from an outdated book, but you are cool with a woman becoming a man or a man becoming a woman?

Wouldn't that go directly against your beliefs? I mean, God makes no mistakes right? So why was this person born a man when they were supposed to be a woman? Wouldn't that IMPLY that God isn't as perfect as we are led to believe?

And if a woman is born a man, but becomes a woman and has sex with men, wouldn't that make her a homosexual? I mean, she was born a MAN and she has sex with MEN. Doesn't that kind of spit in your belief pudding?

And I'm not knocking anyone who is transgendered. I still feel like a man trapped in a woman's body and it has been a big struggle for me to determine if I can be happy as I am (as a woman) or if I want to change my body. I am actually really glad you said something like that, because it gives me a small (VERY SMALL) bubble of hope for the human race as a whole.

I just have one really serious question for you: Are you on drugs?

sincerely,
Sarai

Confliction

Dear ____,
I'm so conflicted when it comes to you. As if anyone was unconvinced of that by now.

Its just that when you start talking sweet, talking about Jupiter's 27th moon, or making me blush with sex references, I want to call you sweet names. Like honey, or baby, or darling. I want to hold your hand. I want to kiss you.

But I don't!

I want to be your friend without any romantic entanglements to ruin it. Which is why I don't call you sweet names. Which is why I will never hold your hand or kiss you. Which is why I'll stay with my husband. Because I do love him. I just love you too.

And you make jokes about us; all three of us, and I wonder if you know how much I wish that was the way the world worked!

I'm terrified that I'll lose you again, somewhere in the abyss of memory and our friendship will be ruined because I can't stop my heart from leaping every time you message me.

The existence of Children.

Dear ____,
I want to snuggle you. I want to tell you I love you. I even, I hesitate to say, want to have children with you. You are such a beautiful person, inside and out. You are sweet and kind and sometimes you are just what I need.

I can't shake the image of a little girl, our little girl, cuddled up with you reading a story. I think you would be a wonderful father. And I hope, one day, that you find the woman to make you a father. I wish it could be me.

I love you. I love you so much, but I love ______ too. And I can't just stop that. I can't just give up on him. And I know this isn't going to be the beginnings of a polyamorous relationship, because I'm pretty sure I'm the only one here who would be cool with that.

I love too much. I think too much. I wish too much.

I just can't stop seeing a little girl with curly hair and a bow, curled up in your lap while you read to her. And I can't stop the butterflies I get when I think of that image. The longing I have to make that a reality and not just my imagination.

You said sexy was in the eye of the beholder and that I had every potential to be a mother. How would you react if I told you that I want to be a mother? That I want to be the mother of your daughter? I want to believe that you would want the same thing. I want to believe that you would find me attractive... dare I say, sexy?

In the meantime, I daydream and feel guilty and worried. I don't want to harm our friendship. And I don't want to lose ______ either.

Maybe in the next life, I'll find you sooner.